Jane’s life had become dominated by her concern over her
partner’s substance abuse.
She didn’t realise the negative impact the constant worry was having on her own life, and that of her children, until she met her families’ key worker. At that moment her life changed.
Like many people who live with someone who is dependent on alcohol or drugs, Jane found herself constantly looking for signs of her partner’s substance abuse. If she did find evidence, as happened from time to time, her world would fall apart.
“All I was doing was checking . . . checking whether I can find some evidence, checking on him, calling him, watching over his shoulder and constantly monitoring him. It was driving him crazy and me too. It was like a full time job leading nowhere.”
But Jane’s family worker changed all that
For the first time Jane could talk to someone else about her partner’s problem. She could be completely open about his substance misuse, and how she felt about it, without feeling like she was being judged. This alone felt like a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. But, to really help Jane and her family, her family worker provided more than just a sympathetic ear.
Jane had her own habit to break
Jane’s key worker explained that the constant checking and monitoring of her partner’s every move was, in itself, compulsive behaviour. That, over the years, Jane had become focused on this one thing to the detriment of everything else. It was time for her to accept that she was not responsible for her partner’s behaviour and had her own life to lead.
Together, Jane and her family worker found other things to focus on
Her family worker advised on family events where Jane could take her children and they could simply enjoy being a family. Jane also attended a service where she could get advice on becoming self-employed.
Although changing a habit of several years is hard, Jane is making great progress
She no longer ‘loses the plot’ if her partner has a relapse. And through her key worker, Jane and her partner have been referred to counselling, so they now have the opportunity to make positive changes together.
Concerned about someone else?
If you are affected by another person’s drinking or drug use, and want to speak to someone who understands, then please contact the family, friends and carers team: 07531 086 729 or 020 8801 3999